Anger for the Almighty

I was having lunch with a great friend of mine the other day. A very wise in the way of spirituality and Christianity kind of person, we discussed and cussed the fine and disturbing points of our faith over some really good mexican food. We were discussing churches, church people, services, and such - and we got around to prayer. I explained that for myself, that I haven't actually bowed my head to do a serious prayer in a very long time. He looked puzzled in that i guess he thought i had this whole Christian thing down or something (not really) but it came out in the wash that I thought my unwillingness to pray was some amount of anger toward God. He then said something that's stuck with me the past couple of days. "Ya know, it's alot easier to get angry at those you love the most." It's like a parent being angry at their child or the other way around, or a husband and a wife. You can be mad at them, might not wanna talk to them but can still have the capacity to love them regardless. Such is the way with God. I'm reminded of Robert Duval in the movie 'Open Range' where their friend and their range dog were killed, and him and his partner stood over the graves to say farewell.. "I think we should say a few words" said his partner. Duval in character and in his acting style I appreciate so much said "You can say words if you want to, but I ain't talkin' to that son of a bitch." Because he was angry at God for taking his innocent friend and range dog. Sometimes I think it's ok, and that God is understanding of this fact that our opinions as free beings are going to differ, and our ignorance as humans is taken into account. Hopefully some day I'll get up the guts to say a few words again to Him. Until then I'll rest on the hope that He understands my heart better than I do myself, and continues to guide even if in silence.

Chris